Loneliness and its Invitation

We’ve all been there, in the depths of deep boredom. A phrase comes to mind, ‘it’s like watching paint dry’. This creates a mental picture that represents the dreaded state of being bored. I write this at a time when the whole world is in a state of panic and on guard against a contagious virus known as COVID 19. This epidemic has caused the entire world to draw to a halt and take drastic measures to isolate themselves. This means individuals are quarantining themselves inside their homes, only coming out for food supplies, walking the dog and the occasional chemist visit.

Free from Disease but Still in prison

Although people are safe from the virus, they are left with confronting themselves in their confined spaces with limiting things to occupy themselves. They have no choice but to address the issue of being with themselves, in themselves and in the moment. Many are left with mental states that resemble the paint drying analogy I described previously. To understand boredom and loneliness we need to look at what’s actually happening. I like to sum it up like this… it’s the inability to sit in the moment with oneself in contentment and satisfaction (nothing missing and nothing else required). When we are unable to do and be like this, we attempt to enlist coping mechanisms, we adopt distractions and look for things to occupy our attention. These moments register as uncomfortable situation, which are basically degrees of painfulness.

The Golden Invitation

Freud’s pain and pleasure principle remind us that people move away from the things that they see as painful and instead move towards something they find more pleasurable.

However, it’s in the pain that we feel when we’re bored or lonely you can find a golden invitation with your name on it. This invitation invites you to go into the pain to identify the yearnings that are calling out to be met. Meeting the needs of these sections of ourselves with healing is literally removing the gaping holes that will demand to be filled by a present or future relationship.

In short, it’s a unique opportunity to blossom into more of who we actually are – A classic situation of feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

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